Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Investing in Myself

Last week I got some somewhat unexpected news that my office would be closing it's doors as of January 26th.  I had already been considering my options because the job I'd been doing for the past 12 years has been making me sick, physically and emotionally.  But the news that the choice of whether to stay or go was being taken out of my hands was a relief.  Now it's already been decided.  The day is firm, and I have 72 more work days to get through before I am able to collect my severance package and move on to the next phase of my career.

My daughter C is fond of saying that I'm four.  As in four years old.  Yes, I have a teddy bear that I sleep with.  I enjoy my naps and don't like my foods to touch.  I like to color and watch animated movies.  So it's especially difficult for me to figure out what I want to do when I grow up.  Right now I've got a few ideas... phlebotomy, aesthetics, creating planner stickers, running a cash register or stocking shelves ...  I'm not sure which is the most viable solution. I just know that I'm not working in a call center after January 26th of next year.  I have telephone phobia. At least when you're in a physical location, you can see the angry person with the red face coming at you.  On the phone you can only imagine who your next customer is going to be.  My anxiety can't handle that anymore.

The job loss is coinciding with my 40th birthday close enough that I've decided that my boyfriend D & I are going on a vacation I've been asking for the day after I'm officially off the payroll. I feel guilty taking a vacation without my kids, but I need this time to get my head on straight. Plus I haven't had a vacation since I turned 30, which was obviously 10 years ago.  This summer we will do the family trip.  The reason we are going on the trip immediately is that I know I won't be working, and I know I will be hugely depressed, even though this is something I've been contemplating for years now.  When I got married 18 years ago, I felt like all the anticipation was anticlimactic.  The day after I felt like we should be doing it all over again.  The letdown was unbearable.  This time I will be too busy packing and traveling to worry about everything I'm putting behind me.  The friends & coworkers anyway, not the difficult customers and the unreasonable expectations.

One of the things I've started doing so far is planning some different activities to get me out of my rut.  I took a webinar course on creating printables from iheartplanning.com this afternoon and got a lot of helpful hints and inspiration.  I got certified in Time Management and I'm in the process of doing a Life Coach certification from Expertrating.com.  I'm almost done with my Network+ class.  I'm planning to do NaNoWriMo next month.  My plate is full even though someone turned the light on at the end of my job's tunnel.  Full Steam Ahead!

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