Sunday, October 9, 2016

3rd Surgiversary

It's hard to believe that I had my life- changing Roux-en-Y gastric bypass surgery 3 years ago.  My life has changed a lot in the past 3 years.   I was a 240lb woman with high cholesterol,  high blood pressure,  poly cystic ovary disease,  metabolic syndrome,  sleep apnea,  and major depression.  I lived with my parents,  hadn't dated anyone since my ex husband,  and was pretty miserable.   One day in the fall of 2012 I asked my younger daughter to tie my shoe for me.  That was my breaking point.  I was 35 years old.  I was not helpless,  I was just acting as though I was.   I called and scheduled myself for a WLS seminar.  I started the process that would ultimately take me 11 months of pre-op work.  Monthly weigh ins,  nutrition consultations,  psych evaluations,  sleep studies,  endoscopy,  liver ultrasound... the list goes on. 
And like a pregnant mother,  all that work is just to get to the REAL work.  Waiting in the pre-op area the morning of my surgery felt a lot like when I was induced for child birth.   Waiting for something to happen.  Knowing that life would be different for me, soon and forever.  Knowing that the hard part was yet to come. 
After 3 years,  people ask me questions about how much it hurt.  I honestly don't remember much except that my chest hurt from the liver retracter. What I do know is that I made the right decision.   Is my life perfect?   Hell No!  I'm still feeling fat even though I'm a healthy weight.  I'm still depressed,  but that's my head not my lifestyle.  My blood sugar drops really low if I eat too much sugar at once (Ironically, this was probably the biggest thing I was trying to escape by losing the weight).  I still feel uncomfortable at the gym,  even though I'm not the fat chick sweating like a pig while walking on the treadmill. I'm still an insomniac who craves a nap at all times. 
People who are successful with this surgery have a few things in common.   They did the physical work... exercise and changing their eating habits.  And they did the mental work... changing their thought process and self -defeating mindset.   I'm still working on my own head.  There is no finish line for weight loss surgery patients.   Yes,  I'm a healthy weight.  But the fight to stay there is something I will be doing until I die.
2014 sleep study for sleep apnea/hypopnea

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