Sunday, May 1, 2016

May Is Here!

I can’t believe it’s already May!  And this month I’m determined to make a turning point in my life.  Because I can’t keep going on like I have been.  For the past few months I’ve been surviving.  Barely.  And that’s no way to live your life.  I’ve frequently mentioned that I suffer from Major Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety.  I also have Seasonal Affective Disorder.  The winter is a nightmare for me.  Lack of daylight makes me want to hibernate.  The preparation needed to leave the house – boots, coats, warming up the car, scraping the ice & snow… it’s just too much some days to deal with.  But spring is here!  (Although in upstate NY we’re really not out of the woods for a few more weeks… it’s not unheard of for snow to still be on the ground for Mother’s Days here.)  So I’m happy that the weather is getting warmer and the sunlight hours are growing a couple minutes each day.
To help me stay motivated, I’ve committed to a 30 day challenges.  On April 27th, the #30dayscribe challenge by Scribe Delivered began.  It’s a handwriting challenge, I think, but I’m just trying to write neatly, not necessarily perfectly.  I was going to do the #PlanWithMeChallenge that Kara, Kim & Jessica host monthly, but as I looked thru the prompts, I realized I would be challenged to create photos for some of them.  For instance, my kids names are written out in my planner (I need to start using initials instead of names I guess) and I negotiated with them that I could show photos of them, but I’m not allowed to use their names.  Also, my company’s recognizable initials, which I don’t want out there in public.  In June I will be more conscious to keep it public-friendly, but I’m gonna skip posting my own photos this month.  I think I am going to follow the hashtags though to see what other people are doing.
I got off Facebook and got on Instagram and Tumblr.  I had a neglected Twitter account that I decided I would use again today to post a message to someone.  My boyfriend asked me why I replaced Facebook with the other social media platforms. Basically, I can control how much of the outside world I see.  I follow who I want to follow.  I’m not expected to know everything about someone that they post online.  So when I asked a pregnant coworker if they know if they’re having a girl or a boy, I get an odd look, then an answer, then they say, didn’t you see it on Facebook?   I simply tell people, “I quit Facebook.”  I probably missed a lot of their drama.  And guess what?  I’m ok with that.  I’m following people I don’t know in real life.  If I don’t see every post they put online, I’m not offending anyone.  I don’t have to keep up on the lives of 350 people I know from the past.  I love it.  And, what I really appreciate about Tumblr and Instagram, is that I’m posting photos.  Moments I want to capture with a picture, not necessarily words.
This month I’m gonna try to take more photos.  I’ve got my selfie-stick charging (I found it when I cleaned out my old bedroom).  We’re going to Niagara Falls this month for my boyfriend’s 40th birthday, so we’ll have plenty of opportunities for taking pictures with me, my boyfriend and my kids.  I think capturing my life in happy photos instead of just griping in my journal will be a healthy change for me.  I’m going to try to get back to taking pictures and printing out mini-photos to put in my journal and a mini-album.  I keep looking at the Instax instant print camera.  But I know that I can take great pix with my iPhone 6S Plus and print them in miniature on my printer.  Also, my dad and grandfather worked for Kodak their entire careers and buying a Fujifilm product is hard for me to swallow.  Even just the printer to print photos from your smartphone uses the 10pack film packs, which cost about $1 per print.  That’s outrageous!
Trying to get my WordPress settings for widgets and themes worked out is taking me way too long.  I’m exhausted mentally!  I’ve accomplished next to nothing today.  And it’s a Pre-Monday!  D wants to go out to dinner, but I don’t feel like getting out of my PJs.  I need to read my own post (I’ve been working on this damn thing for about 2 hours with all my distractions) about how I’m going to turn over a new leaf this month, huh?
Anyone reading this?  I’d love to hear from you!

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